Shitty Nappy Whizzing Through The Air, You

They've Found This Spider, In The Jungle. Three Foot Long, It Eats Chicken. Bit Weird, Innit. People Moan Saying That You Shouldn't Lock Animals Up And All The Rest Of It, But To Be Honest I Wish It Was Locked Up. The Idea That It's Roaming In A Jungle... Get It Locked Up.

Happiness Is Like A Cake: Have Too Much Of It And You Get Sick Of It.

Making The 'an Idiot Abroad' Series, I Was Really Dreading Going To India; I Thought I'd Hate It. It Was A Nightmare, And I Was Really Ill - Just Like Everyone Says.

I Was Impressed By The Taj Mahal. A Good Bit Of Work, Well Looked After, Worth Paying Money To See.

Why Didn't Evolution Make A Giraffe Good At Carpentry So It Could Build A Ladder?