She's As Funny As A Toothache

Bombeck's Rug Rule: An Ugly Carpet Will Last For Ever.

My Kids Always Perceived The Bathroom As A Place Where You Wait It Out Until All The Groceries Are Unloaded From The Car.

If Compliments Were Food, I'd Have Starved To Death 28 Years Ago.

She's As Funny As A Toothache

I Didn't Fear Old Age. I Was Just Becoming Increasingly Aware Of The Fact That The Only People Who Said Old Age Was Beautiful Were Usually Twenty-three Years Old.