She's As Funny As A Toothache

For Years, My Husband And I Have Advocated Separate Vacations. But The Kids Keep Finding Us.

All Of A Sudden, I Feel Very Old And Very Tired. Maybe When I Get To California, The Smog, Brush Fires, Floods, And Earthquakes Will Cheer Me Up.

One Meal A Day Is Enough For A Lion And Would Be For All Of Us If All We Did All Day Was Swat Flies.

For The First Two Years Of A Child's Life, We Spend Every Waking Hour Tryibg To Get The Child To Communicate. Then We Spend The Rest Of Our Lives Trying To Figure Out How We Can Reverse The Process.

Phone Are Wonderful Instruments, But I Wouldn't Want Our Daughter To Marry One.