Say Goodnight Gracie.

None Of Us Kids Had A Middle Name. We Were Lucky We Had Any Name At All. By The Time My Mother Got Around To Naming One, There Was Another On The Way.

Well, Anybody Can Be A Straight Man If He Hears Well. You Just Have To Wait For Laughs. A Straight Man Just Repeats The Questions And The Comedian Gets The Laughs And You Just Wait For Them And Don't Let Them Die Completely At The Tail End Of The Laugh.

I Drink Coffee With My Right Hand, And I Smoke With My Left. But I Talk With Both Hands.

Critics Are Eunuchs At A Gang Bang.

Love Is A Lot Like A Backache. It Doesn't Show Up On X-rays, But You Know It's There.