Sarah Palin Is Joining Fox News. The

Why We Are Here: To Tremble At The Terrible Beauty Of The Stars, To Shed A Tear At The Perfection Of Beethoven's Symphonies, And To Crack A Cold One Now And Then.

Number One: Don't Frisk Me. Don't Hurt Me Physically. Don't Get Anywhere Near My Neck. And Don't Call Me Regis.

This Hillary Clinton Scandal Has To Do With Emails. All I Get Are Emails For Canadian Viagra.

I Went Through One Period When I Smoked A Surprising, A Really Breath-taking, Amount Of Grass Almost Every Night.

Right After The Show Tonight, I'm Going To The New York City Car Show. You Get To See The Models That Will Be Crashed Next Year By Drunken Secret Service Agents.