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Everyone Knows You Can't See Death Cooties. Take My Word For It, That Couch Has The Biggest, Fattest Death Cooties That Ever Existed. That Couch Has The Mother Of All Death Cooties. – Lula

If God Had Wanted Me To Lose Weight He Would Have Made Sure There Was Creamed Spinach For Dessert.

He Rooted For The Mets, He Wore Foot Of The Loom Underwear, And He Drove A Buick. His Loyalties Were Carved In Stone And He Wasn't About To Be Impressed With Some Upstart Of A Toaster Salesman Who Drove A Bonneville.

I Could Use Some Help With An Fta. What's Your Problem? He's Old, And I'll Look Like A Loser If I Shoot Him.

I Always Wanted To Eat With A Negro,” Grandma Said. Yeah, Well I Always Wanted To Eat With A Boney- Assed Old White Woman,” Lula Said. “so I Guess This Works Out Good.