Racism. It's Ugly. Even In Tubers.

The Way To Any Woman's Heart, Be She Witch Or Wonderwoman, Princess Or Pocahontas, Is Through Her Stomach.

Recipe Writers Hate To Write About Heat. They Despise It. Because There Aren't Proper Words For Communicating What Should Be Done With It.

Basting Is Evil. Basting Does Nothing For The Meat. Why? Skin. Skin Is Designed To Keep Stuff Out Of The Bird, So Basting Just Lets Heat Out Of The Oven. That Means The Turkey Will Take Longer To Cook... So Don't Touch That Door!

A Home Cook Who Relies Too Much On A Recipe Is Sort Of Like A Pilot Who Reads The Plane's Instruction Manual While Flying.

If My Wife Made Childhood Obesity Her Mission And I Signed A Law Making 1/8 Cup Of Tomato Paste A Vegetable, I'd Be Sleeping On The Sofa.