Professors Of Theory Merely Hold Post-mortems.

Being A Specialist Is One Thing, Getting A Job Is Another.

Many A Man In Love With A Dimple Makes The Mistake Of Marrying The Whole Girl.

In Canada We Have Enough To Do Keeping Up With Two Spoken Languages ... So We Just Go Right Ahead And Use English For Literature, Scotch For Sermons, And American For Conversation.

I Am What Is Called A Professor Emeritus—from The Latin E, 'out,' And Meritus, 'so He Ought To Be.

Presently I Shall Be Introduced As 'this Venerable Old Gentleman' And The Axe Will Fall When They Raise Me To The Degree Of 'grand Old Man'. That Means On Our Continent Any One With Snow-white Hair Who Has Kept Out Of Jail Till Eighty.