President Obama Wants To Raise Taxes On

The Crime Problem In New York Is Getting Really Serious. The Other Day The Statue Of Liberty Had Both Hands Up.

I Don't Understand The United Nations. They Have Selected Iran To Sit On The U.n.'s Women's Rights Panel. Iran! Also On The Panel - Ben Roethlisberger, Chris Brown, Phil Spector, Robert Blake And Committee Chairman O.j. Simpson.

You Can't Stay Mad At Somebody Who Makes You Laugh.

If Arnold Is Elected, You Know Who I'd Feel Sorry For? The People On Death Row. Imagine, You're About To Be Executed, The Governor Calls, You Think It's Your Reprieve, And You Hear 'hasta La Vista, Baby.'

The Boston Globe Is Reporting That Democratic Presidential Candidate John Kerry Used To Date Actress Morgan Fairchild But It Didn't Work Out. Apparently She Couldn't Handle Dating Someone With Bigger Hair Then She Had.