President Obama Told The Irish People That

Attorney General John Ashcroft Said There Is A New Credible Terrorist Threat. He Said Everything Is Under Control; Not To Panic. And Then He Went Back To His Harmonically Sealed Bunker.

A New Medical Study Reports That Men Who Eat Ten Pizzas A Week Are Less Likely To Develop Prostate Problems At Age 50. That's Because They Are Usually Dead By Age 40.

It's Cold Out. It's Even Cold In Florida. So Cold Today That Katherine Harris Put On A Third Layer Of Makeup.

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.

It Looks Like Rudy Giuliani Is Out Of The Race. Finally, A Republican With An Exit Strategy.