President Obama Said He Plans On Training

As You May Have Heard, The U.s. Is Putting Together A Constitution For Iraq. Why Don't We Just Give Them Ours? Think About It - It Was Written By Very Smart People, It's Served Us Well For Over Two Hundred Years, And Besides, We're Not Using It Anymore.

"this Is Now The Twelfth Day Of Rioting In France. They Have Been Rioting For Almost Two Weeks. And France Has Still Not Surrendered. That's Like A Record.

John Kerry Said Today He Wants To Debate President Bush Once A Month. Hey Good Luck, If Bush Couldn't Make It To The National Guard Once A Month, He's Not Going To Show Up For This.

According To Time Magazine, Global Warming Is 33% Worse Than We Thought. You Know What That Means? Al Gore Is One-third More Annoying Than We Thought.

It's Casual Friday, Which Means That At The White House, They're Casually Going Through Everybody's Phone Calls And Records.