I Tell You, The Economy Is In

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced That He Is Going To Run For Governor On Our Program Last Night. My Staff Didn't Know, Arnold's Staff Didn't Know, I Was Shocked As Everyone Else. If He Doesn't Get Elected Governor, Maybe He Should Work For The Cia. I Mean, He Can Keep A Secret Better Than They Can.

Yesterday Gary Condit Spent The Whole Day Attending An Agricultural Meeting. Boy, That's When You Know A Congressman's In Real Trouble: When He Spends The Whole Day Actually Working.

Show Business Is Like Champagne. You'll Appreciate It More If You Don't Drink It Everyday

Form 1040 Was Chosen By The Irs Because For Every $50 You Earn, You Get 10 And They Get 40.

Wasn't It Thrilling When The U.s. Women's Team Took Home The Gold In Gymnastics? A Group Of American Teenagers Getting A Higher Score Than Chinese Kids? That Never Happens.