President Obama Said He Is Going To

The White House Softball Team Played The Pro-marijuana Lobbyists' Team And Lost 25-3. Still No Word Yet On Which Side President Obama Played For.

Today The United States Has Admitted That After Months And Months Of Searching, We Still Have No Idea Where Osama Bin Laden Is. Osama Bin Laden? We Can't Even Find Kenneth Lay.

A Number Of Plastic Surgeons Are Claiming That Looking At John Kerry Now, As Opposed To A Few Months Ago, They Believe He's Had Botox Shots. They Claim A Number Of His Worry Lines Have Vanished. They Haven't Vanished, Just Howard Dean Is Wearing Them Now.

President Obama Said In An Interview Over The Weekend That He Really Misses Being Anonymous. He Said, 'i Miss Saturday Mornings Rolling Out Of Bed And Not Shaving, Going To The Market...' Be Careful What You Wish For, 2012 Is Just Around The Corner!

All I Ask Is That You Tip Your Waiters And Waitresses. We Have To Turn This Situation Around.