President Obama Has Begun A Three-state Bus

The Good News Is, The Stock Market Is Closed And It Can't Hurt Us Again Until Tomorrow.

I've Never Understood Why Women Love Cats. Cats Are Independent, They Don't Listen, They Don't Come In When You Call, They Like To Stay Out All Night, And When They're Home They Like To Be Left Alone And Sleep. In Other Words, Every Quality That Women Hate In A Man, They Love In A Cat.

Today Arnold Schwarzenegger Made Another Major Announcement. He Said His Lieutenant Governor Will Be Xena, Warrior Princess.

American Taliban John Walker Lindh Has Pleaded Guilty To Two Counts Of Terrorism And Will Face Twenty Years In Prison. I Guess That Means His Jihad Is On Ji-hold.

In South Korea, A Scientist Considered To Be One Of The Pioneers In The Field Of Cloning Has Been Sentenced To Two Years In Prison. At Least, They Think It's Him.