President Obama, By The Way, Is, I

Herman Cain Said, Starting Today, If You Buy Into His 9-9-9 Plan, He'll Throw In A Free 32-ounce Soda.

Kim Jong Un's Sister Got Married. That Sounds Like Another Seth Rogen Movie, Doesn't It?

I Don't Like Stand-up Comedy That Requires A Lot Of Props. I Really Respect People Who Can Walk Out Onstage Alone And With No Other Tool But Their Own Minds And Can Make You Laugh And Maybe Even Think A Little.

People Say New Yorkers Can't Get Along. Not True. I Saw Two New Yorkers, Complete Strangers, Sharing A Cab. One Guy Took The Tires And The Radio; The Other Guy Took The Engine.

Are You Excited About The Recall Election? Arnold's Campaign Has A New Slogan: 'win One For The Groper.'