President James Garfield Could Write In Latin

The White House Is Defending President Obama's Sports Activities Over The Past Week, Saying That Everyone Needs Leisure Time. Thanks To These Economic Policies, 9.5 Percent Of Americans Have All The Leisure Time They Need.

How Many Watched The President's Speech Last Night? [half-hearted Audience Applause] How Many Watched American Idol ? [thundering Applause] Okay, There You Go! You Get The Government You Deserve.

Nancy Pelosi Said That When It Comes To Cleaning Up Government, The Democrats Have Drained The Swamp. The Only Problem With That Is What's Left After You Drain The Swamp: Snakes Everywhere.

The Bush Administration Has Apparently Approved A Plan To Oust Saddam Hussein. I Think That's President Bush's Father's Day Gift To His Dad.

I'm Glad The Government Has Shut Down. Think About It, For The First Time In Years It's Safe To Talk On The Phone And Send Emails Without Anybody Listening In.