The Democrats Say That President Bush Doesn't

The Bush Administration Said Today There Is A Lot Of Support For Us To Attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, They're All Lining Up.

Usain Bolt Won The Gold For The Men's 100- And 200-meter Dashes For The Second Olympics In A Row. You Know, He Has Been Running Since He Was In Elementary School - Kind Of Like Mitt Romney.

Well, All Across The Country, This Is Kind Of Sad, Unemployment Offices Are Swamped With People Waiting To File For Unemployment Insurance. It's Gotten So Bad That The Offices Are Overwhelmed And Can't Function. I Got An Idea. Why Don't You Hire More People? They're Right There In Line. Speed This Whole Thing Up!

In His Speech Last Night, John Kerry Said This Was The Beginning Of The End Of The Bush Administration. I Agree. Sure, It May Take Another Five Years, But This Is It.

The Supreme Court Has Ruled That Anybody Can Be Strip-searched For Any Kind Of Arrest. That's Something To Think About The Next Time You Bring 12 Items Into A 10-item-or-less Lane.