President Bush Spent The Day Calling Names

Us Officials Have Now Approved The First Anti-obesity Drug For Dogs. I'm No A Veterinarian, But If Your Dog Is Over Eating, Try Putting A Little Less Food In The Bowl. Do We Really Need To Give Him A Pill? Is The Dog Taking Your Car Keys And Driving To Mcdonalds?

When A Candidate Walks Away From A Reality Show, That's When You Know They're Serious About Being President Of The United States.

A New Medical Study Reports That Men Who Eat Ten Pizzas A Week Are Less Likely To Develop Prostate Problems At Age 50. That's Because They Are Usually Dead By Age 40.

In Afghanistan, U.s. Troops Are Now Holding An American Man Who Has Been Fighting Alongside The Taliban. His Mother Says He Was Born In Washington, D.c. And His Father's A Lawyer. Well, That Explains It. ... He Surrendered To Authorities And Said He Wants To Go Back To His Old Job - Airline Security Guard.

Today Arnold Schwarzenegger Made Another Major Announcement. He Said His Lieutenant Governor Will Be Xena, Warrior Princess.