President Bush Spent The Day Calling Names

Osama Bin Laden Has Hired 10 Look-alikes. Now, How Hard Up Do You Have To Be Before You Take That Job? There's No Way To Win! If Osama Dies, You Don't Get Paid. If You're Found, You Get Killed.

Did You Know That 10% Of All Americans Have Not Had Sex In 5 Years? I Didn't Know There Were So Many Republicans.

North Korea Is Now Threatening The United States With All-out War. You Can See They're Stepping It Up. In Fact, They Released 10 More Photos Of Kim Jong Un Looking Through Binoculars.

It's Fun When You're Driving, And People Wave At You, And You Wave Back. I Think You Either Like People Or You Don't. I Mean, I Don't Want To Put On Sunglasses. That's Why I'm In Show Business.

In The Nfl, 31 Players Have Been Arrested Just Since The Super Bowl. In Fact, A Lot Of Teams Are Switching To The No-huddle Offense Because Players Aren't Allowed To Associate With Known Felons.