President Bush Says In The Last Month

Did You See The Statue Topple? Bill Clinton Got Nostalgic Seeing Something That Big In A Beret Go Down.

With Iraq Plunging Into Chaos And Gas Prices At Record Highs President Bush Took Time Out This Weekend For A Ride On His Bicycle, But Unfortunately He Fell Off And Sustained Cuts To His Face And Hands. Apparently Bush Was Distracted By The Enormous Responsibilities Of The Presidency. I'm Just Kidding. He Hit Some Gravel Or Something.

I Enjoyed Retirement The Right Way Linguine Con Vongole, Red Wine And Plenty Of Truffle Cheese.

My Brother Asked Me Once, 'are You A Misanthrope?' And I Said, 'no, I Just Find People Irritating.'

As The Democrats Get Revved Up At Their Convention In Boston, President Bush Is Fighting Back The Only Way He Knows How: By Going On Vacation! Ah, It's Nice To Take A Rest, Replenish Your Supply Of Smirks. The Vacation Was Expected, Because Bush Traditionally Takes A Month Off Every Summer To Relax And Avoid Reading National Security Warnings.