Predictions Are Preposterous.

They Call It Football, But The Object Of The Game Is To Bash The Other Guy So Hard That He's Eventually Carried Off The Field On A Stretcher. I Can't Watch Football Anymore. My Psychiatrist Said It's Better That Way. I Used To Watch A Game, See The Players In A Huddle - And Think They Were Talking About Me.

I Don't Believe That Anybody Has Come To A Conclusion On Why Something Is Funny. It's Funny Because It's Ridiculous And It's Ridiculous For Different Reasons At Different Times.

It Is More Profitable For Your Congressman To Support The Tobacco Industry Than Your Life.

Prostitutes Go To Jail. Their Customers Go Home And Read The New York Times. In This Country You're Allowed To Buy Anything. If You Need A Shirt, You Have A Right To Buy It. If You Need Sex, You Don't. What's More Important, Sex Or A Shirt?

If An Englishman Gets Run Down By A Truck He Apologizes To The Truck.