Poor People Have More Fun Than Rich

The California Cemeteries Make Dying Sound So Attractive It's A Real Effort To Keep Breathing.

Then There Was The Time In Hollywood When I Sat Down In A Breakaway Chair And It Collapsed On Me. I Was Nearly Knocked Out And Might Have Been Even More Seriously Hurt But My Fall Was Broken By The Smog.

Looking Back, My Life So Far Seems Like One Long Obstacle Race, With Me As Its Chief Obstacle.

Doing The Show Was Like Painting The George Washington Bridge. As Soon As You Finished One End, You Started Right In On The Other.

Statistics Show That Many People Watch Our Show From The Bedroom. And People You Ask Into Your Bedroom Have To Be More Interesting Than Those You Ask Into Your Living Room. I Kid You Not!