People Die All The Time. It's Just

[to Audience Members Who Were Arriving Late] You Haven't Missed A Thing, I Was Just Killing Time 'til You Got Here.

Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job. I Don't Come To Your Workplace And Tell You How To Sweep Up.

The Strangest Thing Is At Tea Breaks, Or Coffee Breaks Or Lunch, You Forget You're A Zombie. And You're Talking About Politics To Somebody At The Table And You Forget That You Have A Bullet Hole In Your Forehead.

There's Nothing Like It, But It's Not As Good As You Think It's Going To Be. . . . I Was Disappointed Because There Are Records Of People Finding Things That Have Been There For Years. I Was Hoping For A Shirt Button, Or My Club's Badge - But Not A Sausage.

The Great Thing About Glasgow Is That If There's A Nuclear Attack It'll Look Exactly The Same Afterwards.