People Ask What I Am Really Trying

I Learned Quickly That When I Made Others Laugh, They Liked Me.

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."

Writers Are Funny About Reviews: When They Get A Good One They Ignore It-- But When They Get A Bad Review They Never Forget It. Every Writer I Know Is The Same Way: You Get A Hundred Good Reviews, And One Bad, Andyou Remember Only The Bad. For Years, You Go On And Fantasize About The Reviewer Who Didn't Like Your Book; You Imagine Him As A Jerk, A Wife-beater, A Real Ogre. And, In The Meantime, The Reviewer Has Forgotten All About The Whole Thing. But, Twenty Years Later, The Writer Still Remembers That One Bad Review.

The Buffalo Isn't As Dangerous As Everyone Makes Him Out To Be. Statistics Prove That In The United States More Americans Are Killed In Automobile Accidents Than Are Killed By Buffalo.

An Economist Is A Man Who Knows A Hundred Ways Of Making Love But Doesn't Know Any Women.