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As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."

I Don't Know Whether This Is The Best Of Times Or The Worst Of Times, But I Assure You It's The Only Time You've Got. You Can Either Sit On Your Expletive Deleted Or Pick A Daisy.

War For Most Men Is Not Fighting Or Marching In Parades. It Is Sitting Around Somewhere Wondering What The Hell You Are Supposed To Be Doing.

People Are Broad-minded. They'll Accept The Fact That A Person Can Be An Alcoholic, A Dope Fiend, A Wife Beater And Even A Newspaperman, But If A Man Does Not Drive, There Is Something Wrong With Him.