People Ask Me, Jimmy, Howd You Get

After Donald Trump Wrote Lindsey Graham's Cellphone Number On A Piece Of Paper And Showed It To Everybody, Graham Said He's Getting A New Phone. Which Explains Lindsey Graham's Latest Campaign Slogan, 'new Phone, Who Dis?'

Thank You... Motion Sensor Hand Towel Machine. You Never Work, So I Just End Up Looking Like I'm Waving Hello To A Wall Robot.

Sources Say The Obama Administration Is In The 'final Stages' Of Planning The Closing Of Guantanamo Bay. The Way It's Gonna Work Is, They're Going To Put A Radio Shack Sign Out Front And Let Nature Take Its Course.

Trump Is Running For President And He's Wasting No Time Getting Down To Business. In Fact, Just After His Announcement He Demanded To See Jeb Bush's Birth Certificate.

A New Study Found That Most People Can't Go 10 Minutes Without Lying. But Since The Study Took 20 Minutes Nobody Knows What To Believe.