Onions Make Me Sad. A Lot Of

Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry For The Convenience.

I Have No Problem Not Listening To The Temptations.

I Got A Business Card Because I Wanna Win Some Lunches. That's What My Business Card Says: Mitch Hedberg, Potential Lunch Winner. Gimme A Call, Maybe We'll Have Lunch. If I'm Lucky!

When You Go To A Bar That Has A Black Light, Everybody Looks Cool. Except For Me, Because I Was Under The Impression That The Mustard Stain Came Out.

I Don't Like Grouper Fish. Well, They're Okay. They Hang Around Star Fish. Because They're Grouper Fish.