On Sunday, The President Flies To The

Our Top Story, In 'threat Matrix Reloaded' News ... Attorney General John Ashcroft And Fbi Director Robert Muller Held A Press Conference Today To Announce That Al Qaeda Is Planning Attacks Somewhere Inside The United States At Sometime In The Future. So Go About Your Normal Lives, But With A Vague Sense Of Foreboding.

Comedy Doesn't Always Have To Come From A Dark Place.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Announced He's Running For Governor. He's Got A Great Slogan - 'vote For Me, Or I'll Make 'kindergarten Cop Ii

Yesterday Jerry Springer Bowed Out Of The Ohio Senate Race. He Said, 'if I Can't Run The Most Embarrassing Campaign In America, Then I'm Out Of Here.'

In Louisiana, President Bush Met With Over 15,000 National Guard Troops. Here's The Weird Part, Nobody Remembers Seeing Him There.