Observing Desire Without Acting On It Enlarges

Presence Is Not Some Exotic State That We Need To Search For Or Manufacture. In The Simplest Terms, It Is The Felt Sense Of Wakefulness, Openness, And Tenderness That Arises When We Are Fully Here And Now With Our Experience.

Imagine You Are Walking In The Woods And You See A Small Dog Sitting By A Tree. As You Approach It, It Suddenly Lunges At You, Teeth Bared. You Are Frightened And Angry. But Then You Notice That One Of Its Legs Is Caught In A Trap. Immediately Your Mood Shifts From Anger To Concern: You See That The Dog's Aggression Is Coming From A Place Of Vulnerability And Pain. This Applies To All Of Us. When We Behave In Hurtful Ways, It Is Because We Are Caught In Some Kind Of Trap. The More We Look Through The Eyes Of Wisdom At Ourselves And One Another, The More We Cultivate A Compassionate Heart.

Feelings And Stories Of Unworthiness And Shame Are Perhaps The Most Binding Element In The Trance Of Fear. When We Believe Something Is Wrong With Us, We Are Convinced We Are In Danger. Our Shame Fuels Ongoing Fear, And Our Fear Fuels More Shame. The Very Fact That We Feel Fear Seems To Prove That We Are Broken Or Incapable. When We Are Trapped In Trance, Being Fearful And Bad Seem To Define Who We Are. The Anxiety In Our Body, The Stories, The Ways We Make Excuses, Withdraw Or Lash Out—these Become To Us The Self That Is Most Real.

If [kids] Get Into Loving Relationships, They're Afraid They'll Be Found Wanting, Won't Have The Looks Or Body Shape Our Culture Deems Worthy. Many Of Us Feel We're Falling Short And If We Start Feeling Close To Another Person, That We'll Be Found Out And Rejected.

Even Going Through The Motions Is A Way Of Establishing A New Relationship With Our Inner Life That Is Caring And Tender, Versus One That Is Judging, Distancing Or Ignoring. This Is The Beginning Of Being Capable Of Intimacy With Others.