Now The Thing About Having A Baby

Man Is The Only Animal That Learns By Being Hypocritical. He Pretends To Be Polite And Then, Eventually, He Becomes Polite.

Confronted By An Absolutely Infuriating Review, It Is Sometimes Helpful For The Victim To Do A Little Personal Research On The Critic. Is There Any Truth To The Rumor That He Had No Formal Education Beyond The Age Of Eleven? In Any Event, Is He Able To Construct A Simple English Sentence? Do His Participles Dangle? When Moved To Lyricism, Does He Write "i Had A Fun Time"? Was He Ever Arrested For Burglary? I Don't Know That You Will Prove Anything This Way, But It Is Perfectly Harmless And Quite Soothing.

I Once Truly Believed That If I Had To Stand In Line For Twenty Minutes To Have A Package Gift-wrapped It Actually Gave The Recipient More Pleasure.

To Me Having A Party Is Something Like Having A Baby. The Fact That You Got Through The Last One Alive Is Not Somehow Sufficiently Reassuring Now.

The Real Menace In Dealing With A Five-year-old Is That In No Time At All You Begin To Sound Like A Five-year-old.