Nothing Is Fair In This World. You

I Found That I Could Not Climb My Way Up To God In A Blaze Of Doing And Performing. Rather, I Had To Descend Into The Depths Of Myself And Find God There In The Darkness Of Troubled Waters.

This Is The Autumn Of Wonders, Yet Every Day, Every Single Day, I Go Back To That Burned Afternoon In August When T. Ray Left. I Go Back To That One Moment When I Stood In The Driveway With Small Rocks And Clumps Of Dirt Around My Feet And Looked Back At The Porch. And There They Were. All These Mothers. I Have More Mothers Than Any Eight Girls Off The Street. They Are The Moons Shining Over Me.

To Be Fully Human, Fully Myself, To Accept All That I Am, All That You Envision, This Is My Prayer. Walk With Me Out To The Rim Of Life, Beyond Security. Take Me To The Exquisite Edge Of Courage And Release Me To Become.

I Didn't Know Then What I Wanted, But The Ache For It Was Palpable.

One Day I Will Have To Forgive Life For Ending, I Tell Myself. I Will Have To Learn How To Let Life Be Life With Its Unbearable Finality ... Just Be What It Is.