No-one Gets Beaten To Death Quite Like

Lincoln Chafee, Former Governor Of Rhode Island, Announced He's Running For President. Before He Announced He's Running, His Wife Went On Facebook And Asked His Staff If They Remembered His Password. Because If A Facebook Password Is Too Hard To Remember, The Launch Codes For The Nukes Should Be A Piece Of Cake.

It Was Just Revealed That Donald Trump Hasn't Voted In Primary Elections In Over 20 Years. Or In Simpler Terms, Trump Hasn't Voted In Primary Elections In Over Three Wives.

Japan And South Korea Are On High Alert After North Korea Successfully Launched A Long-range Rocket. Both Countries Are Surprised By North Korea's Successful Launch, But Definitely Not As Surprised As North Korea.

Another Scandal For Hillary Clinton - They're Saying She Used A Private Email Address When She Was Secretary Of State, Which Means The Government Couldn't Archive And Preserve Her Emails. Then Obama Said, 'don't Worry, We Saw Them. We See Everyone's Emails.'

A Man In Thailand Was Arrested With More Than 10,000 Pairs Of Stolen Underwear. Legal Experts Are Expecting A Brief Trial.