No One Ever Said Life Was Fair.

My Interesting Diet Tips Are Eat Early And Don't Nosh Between Meals. I Mean, I Can Pack It Away.

But I Don't Begrudge Anybody, Because I Know How Hard It Is To Have That Dream And To Make It Happen, Whether Or Not It's Just To Put A Roof Over Your Head And Food On The Table.

People Invite Me To Dinner Not Because I Can Cook, But Because I Like To Clean Up. I Get Immediate Gratification From Windex. Yes, I Do Windows.

Only I Can Change My Life. No One Can Do It For Me.

In '57, I Got A Job At The Blue Angel Nightclub, And A Gentleman Named Ken Welch Wrote All My Material For Me. I Lived At A Place Called The Rehearsal Club That Was Actually The Basis For A Play Called Stage Door.