Nice Things Are Nicer Than Nasty Ones.

Sex Stops When You Pull Up Your Pants, Love Never Lets You Go.

The First, Indeed The Only, Requirement Of A Diet Is That It Should Lose You Weight Without Reducing Your Alcoholic Intake By The Smallest Degree.

Women Are Really Much Nicer Than Men: No Wonder We Like Them.

When I Find Someone I Respect Writing About An Edgy, Nervous Wine That Dithered In The Glass, I Cringe. When I Hear Someone I Don't Respect Talking About An Austere, Unforgiving Wine, I Turn A Bit Austere And Unforgiving Myself. When I Come Across Stuff Like That And Remember About The Figs And Bananas, I Want To Snigger Uneasily. You Can Call A Wine Red, And Dry, And Strong, And Pleasant. After That, Watch Out.

If You Can't Annoy Somebody, There Is Little Point In Writing.