New York Is Too Strenuous For Me;

Gout, A Physician's Name For The Rheumatism Of A Rich Patient

Convent - A Place Of Retirement For Women Who Wish For Leisure To Meditate Upon The Sin Of Idleness.

Men Who Expect Universal Peace Through Invention Of Destructive Weapons Of War Are No Wiser Than One Who, Noting The Improvement Of Agricultural Implements, Should Prophesy An End To The Tilling Of The Soil.

Certain Old Men Prefer To Rise At Dawn, Taking A Cold Bath And A Long Walk With An Empty Stomach And Otherwise Mortifying The Flesh. They Then Point With Pride To These Practices As The Cause Of Their Sturdy Health And Ripe Years; The Truth Being That They Are Hearty And Old, Not Because Of Their Habits, But In Spite Of Them. The Reason We Find Only Robust Persons Doing This Thing Is That It Has Killed All The Others Who Have Tried It.

Guillotine, N. A Machine Which Makes A Frenchman Shrug His Shoulders With Good Reason.