Never Use A Big Word When A

Anytime Four New Yorkers Get Into A Cab Together Without Arguing, A Bank Robbery Has Just Taken Place.

I Can't Say I Ever Wanted To Become An Entertainer. I Already Was One, Sort Of-around The House, At School, Doing My Magic Tricks, Throwing My Voice And Doing Popeye Impersonations. People Thought I Was Funny; So I Kind Of Took Entertaining For Granted It Was Inevitable That I'd Start Giving Little Performances.

I Owe One Thing To My Public - The Best Performance I Can Give.

The Good News Is That The President Gets Another Chance. The Bad News Is That He'll Be Two Weeks Older.

They Say Atomic Rad-i-ation Can Hurt Your Reproductive Organs. My Answer Is, So Can A Hockey Stick. But We Don't Stop Building Them.