Never Trust Anything You Read In A

Crabgrass Can Grow On Bowling Balls In Airless Rooms, And There Is No Known Way To Kill It That Does Not Involve Nuclear Weapons.

Warning: This Is Assuming Your Spouse's Name Is Margaret.

As Sensitive And Broad-minded Humans, We Must Never Allow Ourselves To Be In Any Way Judgmental Of The Religious Practices Of Other People, Even When These People Clearly Are Raving Space Loons.

If You Have A Big Enough Dictionary, Just About Everything Is A Word.

Democracy: In Which You Say What You Like And Do What You're Told.