Never Slap A Man Who Chews Tobacco.

I Want To Get My Own Show Because 'today' Will Eventually Get Tired Of Me, Or The Audience Will Get Tired Of Me.

A Good Marriage Is Like An Incredible Retirement Fund. You Put Everything You Have Into It During Your Productive Life, And Over The Years It Turns From Silver To Gold To Platinum.

Everyone Complains About The Weather, But Nobody Ever Seems To Do Anything About It.

When I Can, I Do 25 Minutes Of Calisthenics Every Day.

I Think Women Can Cope A Lot Better Than Men.