Never Slap A Man Who Chews Tobacco.

I Want To Get My Own Show Because 'today' Will Eventually Get Tired Of Me, Or The Audience Will Get Tired Of Me.

In High School, I Weighed 175 To 180. I Looked Like Abraham Lincoln. I Was 6-foot-3, Biggest Thing In The Class, But Tall, Not Fat.

My Grandmother Was A Typical Farm-family Mother. She Would Regularly Prepare Dinner For Thirty People, And That Meant Something Was Always Cooking In The Kitchen. All Of My Grandmother's Recipes Went Back To Her Grandmother.

I'm Not The Dumbest Guy That Ever Lived.

Bryant Gumbel's Ego Has Applied For Statehood. And If It's Accepted, It Will Be The Fifth-largest.