Never Neglect An Opportunity To Play Leap-frog;

The English Public Doesn't Really Like Shakespeare; It Prefers Football.

Misquotation Is The Pride And Privilege Of The Learned.

Fate Stalks Us With Depressing Monotony From Womb To Tomb, And, When We Are Least Expecting It, Deals Us A Series Of Crushing Blows From Behind.

Do You Believe In God? Perhaps You Aren't Old Enough. The Reason Old People Believe In God Is Because They've Given Up Believing In Anything Else, And One Can't Exist Without Faith In Something.... God Is A Sort Of Burglar. As A Young Man You Knock Him Down; As An Old Man, You Try To Conciliate Him Because He May Knock You Down. Moral: Don't Grow Old.

Misquotation Is, In Fact, The Pride And Privilege Of The Learned. A Widely- Read Man Never Quotes Accurately, For The Rather Obvious Reason That He Has Read Too Widely.