Never Believe A Rumour Until You Hear

The Secret Of Good Health And Happiness Is To Have Rather Small Illnesses Throughout Your Life Which You Can Rely On To Stop You Doing Anything You Don't Want To Do.

Never Believe A Rumour Until You Hear It Officially Denied.

Writing About The Indignities Of Old Age: The Daunting Stairway To The Restaurant Restroom, The Benefits Of A Wheelchair In Airports And Its Disadvantages At Cocktail Parties, Giving The User What He Described As A Child's-eye View Of The Party And A Crotch-level View Of The Guests. Dying Is A Matter Of Slapstick And Pratfalls. The Aging Process Is Not Gradual Or Gentle. It Rushes Up, Pushes You Over And Runs Off Laughing. No One Should Grow Old Who Isn't Ready To Appear Ridiculous.

Hell Must Be A Place Where You Are Only Allowed To Read What You Agree With.

Rumpole, You Must Move With The Times." "if I Don't Like The Way The Times Are Moving, I Shall Refuse To Accompany Them.