My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

Oh, I Was An Ugly Kid. My Old Man Took Me To The Zoo. They Thanked Him For Returning Me.

I Asked My Wife If She Would Put Out The Garbage. She Said Why Should I You Never Put Out For Me.

If It Wasn't For Pick-pockets I'd Have No Sex Life At All.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. Once A Guy Pulled A Knife On Me. I Knew He Wasn't A Professional, The Knife Had Butter On It.