My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A

With My Dog I Don't Get No Respect. He Keeps Barking At The Front Door. He Don't Want To Go Out. He Wants Me To Leave.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

I Joined Gamblers Anon., They Gave Me 2 To 1 I Wouldn't Make It! I Joined Aa, There Was A Two Drink Minimum!

If Every Man Was As True To His Country As He Was To His Wife, We'd Be In A Lot Of Trouble.

My Kid Wants To Be A Prison Warden When He Grows Up So He Can Put Thumb Tacks On The Electric Chairs.