My Real Life Is Funnier Than Anything

Birth Control That Really Works - Every Night Before We Go To Bed We Spend An Hour With Our Kids.

Self-esteem Is The Goddamn Root Of All Evil.

Husbands Are Never Happy. My Husband Asked Me For More Space, So I Locked Him Out Of The House.

My Husband Says, 'roseanne, Don't You Think We Ought To Talk About Our Sexual Problems?' Like I'm Gonna Turn Off Wheel Of Fortune For That.

Impeach The President And The Vice President, They Are Traitors To America, And So Are All Of Their Supporters. Impeach! Anyone In Congress Who Refuses To Save Our Union From These Traitors By Doing Nothing Needs To Be Recalled.