My Real Life Is Funnier Than Anything

I Was Completely Nuts For Most Of My Life.

I Thank God For Creating Gay Men. Because If It Wasn't For Them, Us Fat Women Would Have No One To Dance With.

Everyone In America (according To My Generalizations) Is A Potential Millionaire Waiting For His Or Her Big Break. I Was Astonished Lately To Realize That Americans Are Definitely Believing In And Planning For The Future, Despite The Fact That They Elected Ronald Reagan Twice.

Eating Cookies That You Bake With Your Grandmother Is One Of The Greatest Social Steps One Must Experience In Order To Grow Up Into A Decent World Citizen, In My Opinion.

My Best Friend Linda Is Leaving Her Husband Just Because He Is Unfaithful To Her. That Is No Reason To Leave The Person. I Feel Like After That, You Should Stay With Them And Make Sure That The Rest Of Their Life Is Sheer Hell.