Birth Control That Really Works - Every

The Day I Worry About Cleaning My House Is The Day Sears Comes Out With A Riding Vacuum Cleaner.

The End Of My Addiction To Fame Happened At The Exact Moment Roseanne Dropped Out Of The Top Ten, In The Seventh Of Our Nine Seasons. It Was Mysteriously Instantaneous!

I Have Horrible Stage Fright - You Know How You Go Through The Bi-polar Stage Fright Thing? Then You Go On Drugs To Get Over The Stage Fright And Perform, But Then You're Not Funny At All.

I'm On The Mirror Diet. You Eat All Your Food In Front Of A Mirror In The Nude. It Works Pretty Good, Though Some Of The Fancier Restaurants Don't Go For It.

Everything Here Must Be Done Twice As No One Can Do It Right The First Time.