My Pilot's License. I'm Proud Of That.

The New Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Is Now Pope Francis The 1st. Francis Was Not His First Choice For A Name. But The Vatican Wisely Talked Him Out Of Pope Boo Boo.

Thanks Cows. I Appreciate Your Tastiness.

Justin Bieber's Tour Bus Was Stopped By Canadian Border Patrol Agents. And They Found Marijuana. The Agents Said Bieber Was A Disgrace To Canada And Should Never Come Back. Then They Found The Marijuana.

These Days, Young People Watch Tv On Smartphones And Computers. Young People With An Actual Tv Set Are Harder To Find Than A Picture Of Anthony Weiner With His Clothes On.

Every Year There's A Jury At The Cannes Film Festival. Getting On The Jury Is Very Competitive In France. Not Because The French Love Cinema, But Because They Love To Judge.