Don't Hit Women. Never, Ever, Ever.

Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde Is A Metaphor For Alcoholism. He Drinks A Potion, Becomes A Monster. I Know Exactly How He Feels.

A Lot Of People In Their 30's Get Nostalgic For Their Teen Years. Then They Get Jobs In Tv, Become Bitter And Jaded And Prematurely Old. Then They Turn Their Nostalgia Into Great Television.

I Don't Drink Anymore For Cinco De Mayo. I Celebrate With Mexican Food, Or As It's Known In Mexico: 'food.'

In Los Angeles On Black Friday, A Woman Pepper Sprayed Wal-mart Shoppers Who Tried To Cut In Line. The Police Acted Fast By Immediately Hiring Her To Get Rid Of Peaceful Protesters Outside Banking Institutions All Across The United States.

The New Pope, Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Is Now Pope Francis The 1st. Francis Was Not His First Choice For A Name. But The Vatican Wisely Talked Him Out Of Pope Boo Boo.