Don't Hit Women. Never, Ever, Ever.

The Problem With Suicide Is That It Seems So Flamboyant. It's Camp. You Have To Be A Bit Of A Drama Queen To Ever Seriously Consider It.

Other Than The Laws Of Physics, Rules Have Never Really Worked Out For Me.

Cannabis Always Made Me Paranoid; I Felt Like People Were Watching Me. And Now I'm Sober, And I've Got This Talk Show In The Middle Of The Night On Cbs, And I Now Know That No One Is Watching Me.

I Aim To Please. I'm Nothing If Not A Vaudevillian.

I Proved To My Own Satisfaction That I Am Madder Than I Think.