My Movies Are Okay, But They're Not

Oprah Is So Rich, I Saw John Kerry Proposing To Her.

The Thing That Surprised Me The Most Is Just How Much Money Women That Weren't Rich Were Paying For Their Hair. When You're In A Beauty Parlor In Harlem Next To Abandoned Buildings And Somebody's Paying Five Grand For A Weave, That's A Bit Much. I Think This Is, In A Weird Way, Part Of The Health Care Debate. It's Like, Hmm, There's People With $2000 Weaves That Could Have Bought Health Care With That Weave Money.

I Know What You're Thinking: Why Is Chris Rock Bagging Groceries? But I Dropped Out Of High School In The Tenth Grade, So If I Couldn't Tell Jokes This Is Exactly What I'd Be Doing.

In The World Of Animation, You Can Be Anything You Wanna Be. If You're A Fat Woman, You Can Play A Skinny Princess. If You're Short Wimpy Guy, You Can Play A Tall Gladiator. If You're A White Man, You Can Play An Arabian Prince. And If You're A Black Man, You Can Play A Donkey Or A Zebra.

Farrakhan Got Everybody Together For The Million Man March And Everything. But Farrakhan Don't Like The Jews. Which Is Bugged. I Get My Hair Cut On Dekalb Avenue. I Never Been In A Barbershop And Heard A Bunch Of Brothers Talking About Jews. Black People Don't Hate Jews. Black People Hate White People! We Don't Got Time To Dice White People Up Into Little Groups. I Hate Everybody! I Don't Care If You Just Got Here. "hey, I'm Romanian." "you Romanian Cracker!"