My Mom Is One Of Those Really

I Talk To A Lot Of Librarians, And There's Always A Steady Drumbeat Of How Libraries Are Places Of Community. But A Lot Of Them Have Also Recently - And Just In The Nick Of Time - Refurbished, Because During This Economic Downturn, People Have A Tendency To Borrow Instead Of Buy.

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

I Like To Work On New Year's Eve. It Has A Nice Spirit; A Nice Feel About It. If You Are All About The 'year-end' Thing At All, Then Laughing With Fellow Human Beings Is A Great Way To Start The New Year.

I'll Probably Never Have Children Because I Don't Believe In Touching People For Any Reason.

My Problem, I Try To Teach My Kids To Eat Healthy Food. But You Get A Cantaloupe, And You Don't Know When It's Going To Come Of Age. You Have No Idea - That Period Between When It's Like, Hard As A Rock To When It's Smushy Inside, Is About Ten Minutes.