My Mind Works So Fast. When I

Today Millions Of People Are Living Who Will Never Do It Again. Millions Are Being Born For The First Time - And Millions Are Doing Nothing Because It's The Best Offer They've Had This Week. It Is For These People And Many Others That The Surprise Party Is Conceived And Desecrated, Founded Upon The Principle That Everybody Is Just As Good As Anybody Else, Even Though They Aren't Quite So Smart.

We Favor Putting Congress On A Commission Basis. Pay Them For Results. If They Do A Good Job And The Country Prospers, They Get 10% Of The Extra Take.

Never Place A Period Where God Has Placed A Comma.

This Country Needs Room To Grow And Expand. In All My Own Newspapers I Read Frightful Tales Of The Shameful Atrocities Being Perpetrated On Our Democratic Minorities In Maine And Vermont. My Patience Is Almost At An End, And If Provoked Much Further I Will Place Both Countries Under American Protection, Even If I Have To Send In My Tourists To Start Trouble So I'll Have To Send In A Force To Restore Order.

Cultivate Friendships. If You Don't Have Time To Cultivate All Of Them, Plow Under Every Fifth One And Collect Your Bonus.