My Life And My Legs Have Been

Nothing Is More American Than Stuffing Your Face With Loaded Potato Skins While Drinking Loaded Mudslides.

Don't Take 'no' For An Answer. Keep Knocking Down Walls Until Someone Says 'yes.'

You Do Not Own A Dog. You Have A Dog. And The Dog Has You

You Should Never Be Mean To Other Girls. I Don't Care What Grade You're In. Be Nice To People Until You're My Age... And You Have Your Own Tv Show.

I Think The People I Talk About Are Generally So Stupid That They Don't Even Know I'm Saying Bad Things About Them. I've Run Into Paris Hilton And She's Like, Oh, I Love Your Show. And I'm Like, You Can't Love My Show If You Can Hear.