Laugh Loudly, Laugh Often, And Most Important,

I Got A Vibrator That Needed Two Nine Volt Batteries. What Am I - R2d2? I Don't Know What To Do With That.

It's Like Being A Stand-up Comedian Is What Leads To Being A Talk-show Host. That Life Is Not Cut Out For A Woman, Being On The Road At These Disgusting Hotels. What Girls Want To Do That? Gross Guys Want To Do That. I Think That The Dearth In Female Comics Is Just The Nature Of The Business, But There Certainly Isn't A Dearth Anymore, So I Think It's Just Silly.

Angelina Jolie’s Older Brother James Haven, The One She Made Out With, Has A License Plate On His Suv That Reads Shiloh. Maybe It’s Not That Weird. After All, He Could Be The Father.

I'm Always Happy To Pitch In And Do Something. Everybody Needs To Be Laughing A Little.

I'm Not Graceful Either. I Have No Rhythm, I'm Never On Top.