My Grandfather Had A Wonderful Funeral... On

Relationships Are Really What Interest Me The Most. And I Think, In The End, They Interest Most People The Most. Even When You Read Tolstoy Or Something, Basically They're About Man And Woman Relationships.

Eighty Percent Of Success Is Showing Up.

How Can I Believe In God When Just Last Week I Got My Tongue Caught In The Roller Of An Electric Typewriter?

My Luck Is Getting Worse And Worse. Last Night, For Instance, I Was Mugged By A Quaker.

Dying Is Like Making Love, Except You Don't Get Naseous Afterwards.