My Good Friend Paul Shaffer And I

The Best Part About Holiday Parties Is The Alcohol. You Have A Couple Of Drinks And You Tell Your Coworkers And Your Superiors What You Really Think About Them. And Then The Fun Begins.

Moammar Gadhafi Was Found Hiding In A Storm Sewer With A Gold-plated Gun. That's Me In Retirement, Ladies And Gentlemen.

Quiet Down, We Don't Want To Wake The Russians.

Barack Obama Is Putting His Team Together To Take Over The Administration. So Far, He's Got His Mother-in-law, Who Is Going To Be Living With Him, And They Are Talking About Hillary For Secretary Of State. You Have Your Mother-in-law And Hillary Clinton. Sounds Like Smooth Sailing To Me.

You Can't Eat Tomatoes Because They're Tainted With Deadly Salmonella. First There Was Tainted Lettuce. Now, Tainted Tomatoes. Who Would Have Thought That The Healthiest Part Of A B.l.t. Would Be The Bacon?